This Year, When Life Says "You Can't," Ask Yourself "Why Not?"

Published on 9 January 2025 at 22:01

Life is full of challenges. At every corner, it seems there’s someone—or something—telling us what we can’t do. “You can’t chase that dream.” “You can’t recover from this setback.” “You can’t reinvent yourself at this point.” Sound familiar?

But what if, instead of accepting “you can’t” as the final word, we flipped the narrative? What if, instead, we asked ourselves the simple yet powerful question, “Why not?”

This year, I challenge you to change the way you respond to doubt, fear, and obstacles. Together, let's explore how asking “Why not?” can become a rallying cry for personal transformation, creative exploration, and bold decision-making.

What Happens When "You Can't" Becomes "Why Not?"

You Can't is limiting. It stops you in your tracks.

Why Not? is expansive. It opens up possibilities, urging you to think beyond the barriers standing in your way.

This shift isn’t just about words; it’s about rewiring the way you approach challenges. When you start asking “Why not?” you’ll begin to see new perspectives, uncover hidden strengths, and take ownership of your story.

But how do you translate this mindset into actionable steps? Here’s how you can live life with a “Why not?” attitude.

Step 1: Reframe Failure as a Stepping Stone

Raise your hand if fear of failure has held you back (even for a second). It's natural—failure has a way of making us feel inadequate. But what if failure wasn’t the opposite of success? What if it was a necessary part of achieving greatness?

Personal development icon Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, once shared something her father taught her growing up. At the dinner table, he’d ask, “What did you fail at today?” The message was clear—failure isn’t something to fear; it’s something to aim for because it means you’re trying.

Apply this with "Why Not?"

Missed a dream job or a big break? Why not try again or pursue a new direction?
Made a mistake that feels impossible to fix? Why not learn from it and grow?

With every risk you take, every “failure” you encounter, ask yourself, “Why not go again?” The experience is never wasted.

Step 2: Challenge the Stories You Tell Yourself

We’re all narrators of our own lives, constantly crafting stories about who we are and what we’re capable of. But too often, these stories are riddled with limits. “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not creative enough.” “I’m not blank enough.”

The truth? These stories are nothing more than old scripts. You get to rewrite them.

Quick Exercise

Next time self-doubt creeps in, jot down the limiting belief and pose the challenge, “Why not?”

Example:

Limiting Belief: I’m too old to start over in my career.
Challenge Thought: Why not? People in their 50s, 60s, and beyond have launched successful businesses and pursued new passions. Age is just a number.

Each time you do this exercise, you chip away at the box you’ve been living in.

Step 3: Lean Into Uncertainty

When was the last time you stepped into something that scared you? I’m not talking about skydiving—though if that’s your thing, all the power to you. I mean the type of uncertainty that comes with embarking on a new path, whether it's starting a side hustle, learning a new skill, or moving to a new city.

It’s terrifying. But it’s also thrilling.

Why Lean Into the Unknown?

Because the greatest rewards often lie on the other side of uncertainty. By asking “Why not?” you train yourself to see possibility in the unknown.

Here’s an example from my own life: When I wanted to start sharing my story publicly, a voice inside said, “You can’t. What if people hate it? What if no one reads it?” But then I asked, “Why not share my story anyway?” And you know what? The joy of sharing my life experiences far outweighed the fear of judgment.

Step 4: Surround Yourself With “Why Not?” People

It’s hard to maintain a mindset of possibility if you’re constantly surrounded by “You can’t” energy. Take a look at who’s in your corner. Are they inspiring you, encouraging you, and challenging you to dream big? Or are they filling your mind with doubt and small thinking?

Building a Supportive Community

Seek out friends, mentors, and peers who ask “Why not?” as often as you do. Join creative or professional groups where like-minded individuals thrive. Surround yourself with positivity, and watch how contagious it becomes.

Step 5: Take Small but Brave Actions

Big dreams and bold ideas don’t have to happen all at once. Sometimes, the most powerful change comes from taking a single step—and then another. The question “Why not?” gets even stronger when paired with action.

Imagine this:

You've always loved painting but told yourself there’s no time.

Why not set aside 20 minutes a week to paint?

You’ve always wanted to travel but fear keeps holding you back.

Why not start with one weekend getaway?

Consistent action, no matter how small, creates momentum. And momentum leads to transformation.

The Ripple Effect of Asking "Why Not?"

The beauty of this mindset is that it doesn’t just impact you. When you start living by “Why not?” you inspire those around you to do the same. Co-workers see it. Your family feels it. Your friends start applying it to their own lives.

One small, seemingly insignificant phrase—“Why not?”—creates ripples that can transform not just your year but your entire trajectory.

Step Into Your “Why Not?” Year

This year, when life says, “You can’t,” it’s time for you to make a different choice.

Ask yourself, “Why not?” Challenge old narratives. Reframe limits as possibilities. Create actions, big and small, that move you closer to the life you want.